Hearing the “sweet” compliment, the girl immediately blocked the Deputy Director of the partnership

You guys don’t like it too much…”

Le Ngoc Hao, 25 years old, is a communications officer in Ho Chi Minh City and bluntly blocked the Deputy Director of the partner company. After the two interacted on social networks.

Many times, Hao noticed that in the posts and pictures she posted on her personal page, this man often visited praise comment compliment in a casual way that is flirty or implies sex.

In addition to the models describing the size of body parts, commenting, objectifying women as “delicious” and full of saliva… this person also repeatedly made innuendos about sexual abilities such as “you have to let me test” or “as delicious and healthy as you can handle” I have to call a Western guy…

Has a wife and two daughters but on his personal page he often posts photos of women describe and praise and laugh in such a rude way.

Recently, Hao posted a photo of himself at he came in and complimented: “So delicious!” along with the invitation: “Let’s invite you to “sweet” coffee someday!”. 

For the first time, Hao responded clearly: “What do you say is good? Practice respecting women and speaking civilly.” He protested: “It’s just because I love beauty. You guys don’t like it too much!”.

Feeling insulted Hao immediately blocked this person and deleted it from his friends list even though he knew little about his decision. Many things will affect your work.

According to the girl, sexual harassment through compliments and comments about others happens everywhere both in real life and online.

Many men still jokingly brag about “sitting with a beautiful girl” or “having a delicious girl here is a big deal”…

In real life In cyberspace, the level of sexual harassment with compliments is even more terrible. A girl who posts a personal photo may receive crude comments such as “blooming” delicious, fat, hot…

The clearest story of “sexual harassment” “with compliments” must mention the harassment targeting Vietnamese women’s soccer players after winning the 4th gold medal at the recent SEA Games.

Immediately after their victory, on social networks, images of female players were posted with many cropped photos aimed at the chest and all kinds of insulting words like: “I wish I could play online for once.” continued to kiss the flag on their jerseys to show their admiration”; “Which number do you like (the number printed on the chest of the female players’ shirts) 19 or 5 or 11 or 4” I can weigh all the numbers. I like number 4 but choose 19…

Even worse, a series of other comments chimed in, “You guys are so smart, I want to be smart like you guys” after kissing, I brought my shirt back to soak in wine, watching them spray all the goat blood blood… Even the weird comment “If only you guys Asking a woman to take off her shirt to celebrate is… even more beautiful.”

All those words that reek of the ideology of objectifying women and harassment are expressed in a simple way. openly and openly to the laughter and cheers of many people.

It’s not only women who are victims of sexual harassment subtly hidden behind compliments. Social networks partly erase “gender power” in harassing others.

Men can also become victims when women calmly express their desire to “want to have eggs” and want to leave their husbands just for one night… in front of the image of the young president of a bank. Rows of people sing and dance in the rain before the news that a prince somewhere is recruiting a wife or any other guy who is “in their sights”.

Sexual harassment disguised behind… compliments 

Situations like the above when praising others lead to two streams of controversy. One side was upset that it was sexual harassment. In the opposite direction, many people explain that it is a way to express love for beauty because liking is the only way to praise, don’t take it seriously. Some people even see these comments as a privilege like “being praised and pretending to die”.

It must be said that it has never been easier for people to touch other people’s bodies and make objectifying comments like now. Just a mouse click or a few words can send violent and harassing words, sometimes even covered by beautiful words.

This can be seen through the culture of behavior in cyberspace. Vietnam ranks 5th out of 25 countries rated as having uncivilized behavior on the Internet according to Microsoft’s latest survey.

Most risky in cyberspace in Vietnam Men involved in sexual harassment such as unwanted sexual messages (41%)sexual harassment (30%)sexual advances (29%)unwanted contact (49%)…

According to the survey, over 70% of people surveyed said they had encountered one of 21 inappropriate behaviors in the last month. 97% admit they have been hurt by such behavior online and 83% worry that they will experience similar behavior again.

Verbal behavior sent From computer and phone screens, it seems virtual, but the hurt, discomfort, and worries and fears of the victim are present. Some people, after hearing a compliment, immediately fall into the abyss of hurt, anger, and suffering.

For a long time, verbal sexual harassment has been denied by many people, especially when it is surrounded by praise. Reactions in this case may receive the explanation “it’s a compliment” or “it’s just a joke”.

While verbal sexual harassment, including speech via electronic means, has been clearly regulated in detail in the decree guiding the implementation of the law.

At Article 84 of Decree 145/2020/ND-CP stipulates forms of sexual harassment including:

Physical acts include gestures, contact, and sexual impacts on the body or sexually suggestive; Verbal sexual harassment includes direct words over the phone or via electronic media that contain sexual content or have sexual implications; Non-verbal sexual harassment includes body language; displaydepicting visual material that is sexually explicit or involves sexual activity in person or through electronic means.

From the picture of sexual harassment covered up behind widespread compliments onlineThe Center for Research and Application of Science on Gender, Family, Women and Adolescents (CSAGA) cooperates with Oxfam in Vietnam to carry out a series of communication activities to promote community participation in ending gender equality. gender-based violence towards a safe, equitable society for women and sexual minorities.

This content is part of the series of activities “Building capacity for organizations operating in gender equality in Vietnam”.

A series of activities to guide the community towards a correct and complete understanding of sexual harassment. In fact, everyone can be a victim or a perpetrator of sexual harassment through everyday words that they may not even be able to identify.

Praising others also requires understanding and politeness so as not to cross the line between compliments and harassment. Every word, including a compliment given to another person, should always be conveyed in a civilized and respectful manner.