If you find yourself hearing the word “No” more and more often from your little girls and boys, if you find them consistently refusing to do basic things like going to bed on time, dinner, or bath, and the house is becoming a battle between parent and child, you will see that, the child has become more stubborn. However, you are not alone. Many other parents are also having to deal with their children’s stubbornness, a trait that appears at many different stages of children’s development.
Characteristics of children What are stubborn children and why do they become stubborn in the first place?
Parents need to understand – not all children expressing a desire for independence are synonymous with stubbornness. stubborn. Wayward children are often characterized by intelligence and creativity. They ask a lot of questions and, in the end, can open the door to rebellion. They have their own place and they are “people of action”. Defiant children often seek to be heard and attract attention, they show more independence, are determined in what they like and have clear leadership skills – making them seem increasingly independent. guess. Children in general experience tantrums, but stubborn children have tantrums more often.
Stubborn children are also characterized by rigid ideas – they refuse to change the way they think, act and behave even when they face external pressure when they are in their parents’ childhood often encounter many difficulties in teaching. However, many studies show that children who tend to reject rules as children often have higher educational standards and are more successful in their careers as adults.
1. Listen without arguing
Communication is a two-way street – if you want your child to listen, you need to listen to them first. An assertive child often has clear opinions and is easily argued. If they feel their voice is not being heard they may become defiant and disrespectful. Most of the time your child will insist on doing something you ask them not to do so doing the opposite hearing and talking about what is bothering them can relieve tension and help you persuade them to act. move the way you want. So how do you get a stubborn 5 year old to listen to you? Let the boy be your guide, give him space to express what he thinks in a calm way and don’t try to confront him.
2. Talk, don’t force
When children are forced to do something against their will, they tend to rebel and do everything in their power to disobey. The term that best describes this behavior is “resistance”: a concept borrowed from psychology that means the instinctive impulse to resist any sense of coercion or constraint. This is a characteristic not only of children but of people in general, especially stubborn people. To overcome this, you need to talk instead of forcing your child to do this or that. For example, if your child insists on watching TV even when it’s bedtime, don’t try to force him or her to stop watching. Instead, sit down next to your child and show him that you’re also interested in what he’s watching. The more attentive and open you are, the closer your child will be to you. And finally, when children reach good communication with their parents, they will more easily cooperate.
3. Give your child choices
Even though they are young, children develop attitudes and opinions very quickly and they don’t like being told what to do. So when you want your stubborn child to do something, give them choices instead of giving them clear instructions. For example, if your child doesn’t want to go to bed, don’t force him to go to bed, but ask, “What story do you want me to read to you before bed?”. At this point, you will see your child ready to climb into bed and wait to hear the story they have chosen.
However, giving too many choices is not a good thing. For example, asking your child to choose an outfit from an entire wardrobe will make it difficult for them to decide or choose an outfit that you don’t like. Avoid this problem by letting your child choose between 2 or 3 sets of clothes that you have already selected.
4. Stay calm
When arguing with a stubborn child, it is easy for parents to become angry and frustrated and scream at the top of their voices to drown out their child’s disobedience. This only makes the situation worse. Once you raise your voice your child will see it as an “invitation” for a verbal fight and will easily escalate the conversation into a shouting match. Because you are the adult in this fight, you must be the one responsible for directing the conversation to a more realistic purpose to find a solution instead of losing your temper.
To do this Before and after each conversation, do whatever calms you down: Take deep breaths and listen to soothing music…so your child can listen and calm down along with you.
5. Respect your children
If you want your children to respect you and your decisions, you must learn to respect them. Your child will not accept your authority if you force it on them. Here are some examples of how you can show and receive respect in your relationship with your children:
– Seek cooperation instead of asking your child to follow instructions
– Set up rules and boundaries for your child, don’t be careless when doing so.
– Don’t deny your child’s feelings and opinions, and don’t underestimate them.
– Let your child do things they can do themselves instead of doing everything for them. Tell your child that you trust him.
– Be an example for your child: this is the mantra you need to remember and practice.
6. Negotiation
Negotiation is a common concept in business or politics but sometimes it becomes necessary to deal with stubborn children. Children tend to react negatively when they don’t get what they want. So when you want your child to listen, you need to understand the reason why they refuse to do it.
Here are steps to help you negotiate with your child:
– Start by asking questions like: “What bothers you?” Is there anything bothering you? Do you want anything?: These questions make children realize that you respect their feelings and wishes.
– Then you can talk and negotiate with your child.
– Then you can talk and negotiate with your child.
– From here you can move forward to talk and negotiate with them. Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to agree to all of your child’s requests, but you should think and be realistic to see what you can compromise and compromise with.
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